Take 459, First Date with Almost Stranger….Aaaction!

I had a cinematic moment yesterday. I was at Richmond station, waiting for my date to pick me up. I am along side the rest of the tired gits, miserable after a long day at work. The sun is shining and setting, gently saying goodbye to a gorgeous London summer day. The light is soft and this far away from town the air has a pretend to be clean quality. Yet not a single person smiling in that queue. They look tired, miserable, and without much money in a city that tithes you daily emotionally and fiscally. And then me, dressed up in a black silk skirt and tight tee ensemble, my fav French sling-back heels and a cropped jacket. Standing slightly away from the bus queue. I get a call from my date, telling me he is around the corner; I say I am at the station by the bus, he says he will drive around to get me. A few minutes go by, I pose/compose myself, laughing at myself as well. Here we go again miss gl. And Vruum goes a very big engine, and towards me prowls a black Lamborghini. I wave, he waves, he pops open the door and I jump in. We drive off up the hill. Cut! Well, that was fun.

Actually, I had a nice time on the date. Because this was a random guy from a clubbing night, I had minimal expectation. What is a "nice time on a date"? It isn't falling in love, but it is decent conversation, from a man with better than average intelligence and manners. It turns out that we have much in common. Oldest children, we are independent, strong minded, are not afraid of change, and like to live healthily (ie working out and eating regimen). (Of course my huge exception to that is my drinking, ehh, ehm). For example, he said he likes to eat spinach, broccoli and blueberries every week. My jaw almost dropped because my persona Food Nazi ensures that I do the same thing. Those exact same items. He has a road bike, I have a road bike. Interestingly, he was very upfront about having been noncommittal with women in the past, doesn't like to be pushed into a relationship, has never been engaged or live with a woman, and won't pretend to like someone if he doesn't feel chemically attracted to someone. He placed an emphasis on the physical attraction. Code for i am a sex fiend? red flag. Really, the substance of his words was the usual I am just being honest upfront to minimise any hurt I could potentially cause you because I am so up myself bull shit that most post 30 year old men do. Did he see me yawn? I gave him the oh that is so good you are being honest, pat your ego on its back, blob-schpiel. And then of course he told me the I am really careful and take a while to trust someone but get bored easily blob-schpiel. I usually respond with a comment about how American style dating is very helpful because its rules give you the flexibility to get to know someone before you say I will have you as my main with a side of commitment and monogamy.

At this point, I really want to hand over to him/them a script with all the dialogue written on it. It’s the mid thirties guy defending that his continued single status (he has no baggage baby), implying its not his fault all the women are psycho needy, and then setting himself up as the Challenge Guy (I just haven't found that special amazing one who will keep my interest because she too is just as amazing as me). Including my nodding-head smiling seductively crossing legs flipping hair routine that invariably gets a "you are really sexy do you know that" comment.

Sometimes I feel like I am a doll and there is a person behind me pushing buttons. Laugh now. Toss hair now. Ask question. Insert phrase about myself. Stroke ego. Give compliment. Laugh again. Go to ladies room and walk slowly swinging hips. Dating PhD.

As I mentioned in my last post, someone not only has to have a sense of humour to possibly understand me, and importantly put up with me, but can I please order a deviation from the script? In summary, I see through my date, I don't need a Challenge Guy to fall for me in order to feel good about myself, and I am not going to get hurt because I would call out any of his wankerdoms and walk away if he doesn't apologise. But, it may be interesting, mean some intriguing nights out, so I will play aloof and keep things slow ensuring a few dates with him this summer. And maybe some action if the mood strikes me; and he is really nice to me.Have I deprogrammed love out of my life? Or is its appearance beyond my control.