Bittersweet Malady

I am not patient with myself being a patient. My list of maladies includes the following: toe with cut that is not healing, one scarred knee from football, one fresh knee-located mince meat resembling scar from a topple in the street on Wednesday night, one crick in neck from said fall, aour 4 extra pounds i shouldn't be carrying, one red and irritated eye from eye don't know what (perhaps Exmoor mud from the weekend's ride) and 8-10 blemishes on my face.

I am in a horrible mood. I think i should go into the hospital. Frankly, it is the blemishes that caused me to almost break down and start crying. i have no idea why they are popping on my face nightly. i usually have nice skin. ever since i had to take extremely strong medicine 8 years ago for bad skin. thus when i do get break outs, it tends to throw me in a emotional taxi ride in the past where i feel the insecurities and negativity that associated from that time. ok now i am crying.

My fall was not even something to be proud of because it was caused by some inebriated state in which i pulled a hot guy. nope. dead sober. walking to a birthday part. just too high heels too many cracks in sidewalk and too much weight in bags around my core of stability. i toppled like the jolly green giant, except i was wearing black. all my girlfriends saw it. the know i am coordinationally challenged, and if they didn't believe my assurances they do now. the only keen part was that apparently about 7 guys stopped to offer me help. i was so embarrassed i didn't notice but my friends thought it was amusing.

and my knee. it is just really gross. between it and my toe, on the same leg, i am pushing runner up in the later Ministry of Funny Walks contest, City of London category, 35 and under. I don't have it covered up though. it needs air to scab, and the sooner it does that the sooner i can throw tights over it.

i don't do unhealthy well. i am very obsessive compulsive about being healthy. i watch what i eat, read about nutrition, pride myself on being healthy (nb still revel in the oxymoron that is the drinker that i am. but hey, wine has a ton of antioxidants), treating myself healthy, knowing about food, caring about what i put in my body. i rarely have to detox because my neutral state of being is uber healthy in the first place. i also am obsessive about my skin and have to baskets full of products. this is probably because ever since the medicine cured my skin, i could finally put products on my face without fear of breaking out. it was heaven. to see the city and stress wear me down despite what i do to counteract is like losing a battle where you know you had better artillery and training. but the numbers got to you. Eff you, i will still win this war! Note, must be careful when i go to the Halloween party on Saturday as i am on a red alert for coordination challenge, and drinking only enhances the "challenge".