cross border blues
Just back from the family visit.
They asked me an interesting question which is why do I live here? They don't understand it. So I tried to explain , fuelled by wine. And their listening skills improved with wine too. The experiences, the people, the cultures, how people do things, sometimes against incredible odds, the ability and approval of travel and interest in other ways and cultures; meeting peers that actively define their life; challenged to open your mind and release judgement, surround yourself with culture. They said at the end of my sermon that they were glad they asked because they now understand somewhat. But I forgot to say how challenging it is to live in a culture that is not your own, like holding up a mirror to your cultural assumptions and being given a choice to keep them or release them.
We can talk about our animals and our country escapades, but we can't talk about, well, issues or what is in the newspaper. It dissolves into a chaotic mess that belongs in Whitehall not our family sitting room. Each person takes an extreme view just to stir things up. But is that not the definition of family?
Now my goal is to be more serene, peaceful and a harmonising presence at Christmas time. The key is to say nothing. Just smile. i will have to have my mp3 player with me.
Overall my parent's manners have slid downhill. My father's worse than my mothers. Maybe as you age you cease to care. Or perhaps the line that you draw to determine when you get upset changes. However, I was brought up reading etiquette books and getting reprimanded if the standard fell below par, which was quite high in the first place. This is the monster that they created! I actually said that to them. They should realise that there are repurcussion for the choices on makes, whether as best meaning parents or perfectionist inducing overlords.
They asked me an interesting question which is why do I live here? They don't understand it. So I tried to explain , fuelled by wine. And their listening skills improved with wine too. The experiences, the people, the cultures, how people do things, sometimes against incredible odds, the ability and approval of travel and interest in other ways and cultures; meeting peers that actively define their life; challenged to open your mind and release judgement, surround yourself with culture. They said at the end of my sermon that they were glad they asked because they now understand somewhat. But I forgot to say how challenging it is to live in a culture that is not your own, like holding up a mirror to your cultural assumptions and being given a choice to keep them or release them.
We can talk about our animals and our country escapades, but we can't talk about, well, issues or what is in the newspaper. It dissolves into a chaotic mess that belongs in Whitehall not our family sitting room. Each person takes an extreme view just to stir things up. But is that not the definition of family?
Now my goal is to be more serene, peaceful and a harmonising presence at Christmas time. The key is to say nothing. Just smile. i will have to have my mp3 player with me.
Overall my parent's manners have slid downhill. My father's worse than my mothers. Maybe as you age you cease to care. Or perhaps the line that you draw to determine when you get upset changes. However, I was brought up reading etiquette books and getting reprimanded if the standard fell below par, which was quite high in the first place. This is the monster that they created! I actually said that to them. They should realise that there are repurcussion for the choices on makes, whether as best meaning parents or perfectionist inducing overlords.
posted by miss goLondon at 3:41 PM
3 Comments:
Ha ha! I can sympathise with you about the whole why do you liver here questions, my Welsh parents gave it all up to start new life in Vancouver. I spent an enormous amount of time trying to justify the reasons..!
that is comforting; why do we feel pressure to have our parents empathise with us, but if coming from an aquaintance, we would not care?
The child becomes the parent.
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