Do not read if you are depressed
I had written out a very long essay on the horrible disasters occuring this year, during a boring admin meeting i had today. I will try to shorten it, because it was really too intense. and sad.
The Tsunami in December, the London bombings, the 3 or 4 airline crashes, Katrina & Rita (wondertwin powers activate, form of: destruction), the landslide in Guatamala, the bombings in Bali and Egypt, the earthquake in Pakistan. The continued violence in Iraq.
Beginning with the twilight of 2004, this year has been extensively damaging to humans. For me to observe within my cushy little bubble of health, safety and wealth, I still feel damaged; and yet absolutely in no degree near what it would be if I were nearer to these events physically. But i can't really empathise. I think it is a survival instinct. Like when a friend's parent dies, and you feel intensely sad for them, but you know without experiencing the emotion that you still can't say you understand what it could be like. You can't if you did, it would ruin your handle on emotional health and you would be living a lie.
I have had friends who were in Thailand helping clean the wreckage, a friend who had to go say good bye to her dying Grandma in the wake of Katrina (she still can't sleep), a friend whose family is near Islamabad. Etc. I can only hug them and tell them i am there supporting them.
It is odd, when you see yourself moving through rooms, adjusting perspective constantly; big rooms full of negative occurances that are not really touching you, and you have no control over; and then other assorted shape rooms that represent your life as you experience it. The boredom admin meetings, the glance of the guy you had liked but that you have shut that emotional tap off of; the glance around the tube train for something/one suspicious; the wince you give because your toe is infected and it hurts and you wore kitten heels today; the sigh you exhale when you realise you have much work to do and have no excitement about completing it.
I spoke with this man the other sunday evening, and his argument was that all these disasters are being caused by human-inspired negative karma. interesting. I dont agree nor fully disagree.
I can say words like disaster, horrific, negative, etc. and yet i know i can't feel anything attached for those words that remotely touches what is truly happening. But i am really grateful for my bubble.
[normal fun blog will resume on schedule tomorrow. need a warm up? American Psycho was neither fiction nor fake...discuss]
The Tsunami in December, the London bombings, the 3 or 4 airline crashes, Katrina & Rita (wondertwin powers activate, form of: destruction), the landslide in Guatamala, the bombings in Bali and Egypt, the earthquake in Pakistan. The continued violence in Iraq.
Beginning with the twilight of 2004, this year has been extensively damaging to humans. For me to observe within my cushy little bubble of health, safety and wealth, I still feel damaged; and yet absolutely in no degree near what it would be if I were nearer to these events physically. But i can't really empathise. I think it is a survival instinct. Like when a friend's parent dies, and you feel intensely sad for them, but you know without experiencing the emotion that you still can't say you understand what it could be like. You can't if you did, it would ruin your handle on emotional health and you would be living a lie.
I have had friends who were in Thailand helping clean the wreckage, a friend who had to go say good bye to her dying Grandma in the wake of Katrina (she still can't sleep), a friend whose family is near Islamabad. Etc. I can only hug them and tell them i am there supporting them.
It is odd, when you see yourself moving through rooms, adjusting perspective constantly; big rooms full of negative occurances that are not really touching you, and you have no control over; and then other assorted shape rooms that represent your life as you experience it. The boredom admin meetings, the glance of the guy you had liked but that you have shut that emotional tap off of; the glance around the tube train for something/one suspicious; the wince you give because your toe is infected and it hurts and you wore kitten heels today; the sigh you exhale when you realise you have much work to do and have no excitement about completing it.
I spoke with this man the other sunday evening, and his argument was that all these disasters are being caused by human-inspired negative karma. interesting. I dont agree nor fully disagree.
I can say words like disaster, horrific, negative, etc. and yet i know i can't feel anything attached for those words that remotely touches what is truly happening. But i am really grateful for my bubble.
[normal fun blog will resume on schedule tomorrow. need a warm up? American Psycho was neither fiction nor fake...discuss]
posted by miss goLondon at 3:28 PM
2 Comments:
I haven't read 'Lunar Park' but it seems your theory behind @American Psycho' may have credence.
My own life had been one of bizarre and unfortunate events this year in tune with the year?
Very feng weird shui going on...
I really like the phrase feng weird shui. it is now being incorporated into my daily "routine", aka "being at work".
Yossarian, it sounds like maybe you too find it surreal that we cannot transcribe emotions from a personal event, like your reminder of mortality, to a public event. For me, it is really odd b/c we seen and hear these disaster; but we can't taste or smell them. they become half real for us.
ok, Tuesday does not need to start like this!!
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