She Falls 3

or, at least, falls apart.
my mood has been dismal, and mercurial all day. I have attempted to focus on the tribulations of my legal work but i keep coming back to the whys of my moods. always willing to overanalyze, once more into the breach....

i wish i was more excited about spa night than i am. because i am stressed i really need time to myself to sleep and be surrounded by quiet. instead i am doing the opposite, and will need to be On all evening. and if i am not present mentally, then i am not learning from the experience and i might as well not go along and play. even though i am not going to get a relationship out of it, i should see at as an Exercise. it may not be the race, but you have to practice first. this is experiencing and learning. lastly there is an element of control, that i am giving up. after all, i am about to jump in a cab and have no idea what we are doing for the rest of the evening; considering it is at a spa, and i have personal space and body comfort concerns, i am taking deep breaths right now. the one thing i do know, is dinner at chez golondon afterwards. i have several bottles of wine for that. and a avacado mint lime salad to start, grilled salmon, grilled peppers stuffed with goat chees, and steamed asparagus with tomato pesto, and for a pudding vanilla bean ice cream with fresh figs and chocolate sauce.

ciao, maybe i will have some good quotes for display tomorrow.