Xtreme Xistentialism

I have not had a very long, long-term relationship. Thus most of my post-adolescent life has been as a single girl. As a single girl, i have participated in many, many dates. Dating is a great laboratory experiment. It provides a creative opportunity for you to know yourself, and others. You observe human behavior, and you create it too. And as one gets to know one's self (ie personality, actions and reactions) through the process of time and experience, one can read and gauge, and engage, others, in a ever more sophisticated method.

I tend to read situations, recongize a pattern, and form judgments, or jump to conclusions. I also simply "exit the building", if not to my liking. I have determined and coined various Effects that occur when going through the process of meeting and greeting potential persons of the sex that you find attractive in order to meet such a person that you want to share an intimate relationship with, for quite a long time. An extended definition of going out.

I think i have mentioned the Horizon Effect. What happens when there is potentially several people that could call you for dates (or even the less formal hook-up) but there is no certainty and you have nothing but cinemas with girlfriends lined up in the near future. Because in reality there is no person close to you, they are all wavering in and out of your sight on the horizon line. This is my current reality.

Then there is the Brittany Effect. When you decide to give things a chance, and not judge too rapidly, give the universe the benefit of the doubt, and say yes to something (a number given out, a lunch with someone you don't know, a blind date set up) but within hours of the event beginning, you really want to run; you know there is No Way. Named after ms. Spear's many premature attempts at a significant long term relationship from which she runs away screaming (and being the subject of unfortunate photos). Oops, we do it again, don't we?!

The Harem Effect is a personality trait, exhibited by someone who you might like. it is when such person is insecure about their attractiveness, so that they are constantly needing attention from various persons, and will flirt with many people and omit important truths (like having a SO) in order to maintain the level of attention they need from you (and the harem of others) to feel good about themselves. Typically, this is a guy who has a long term girlfriend but is constantly keeping up flirty relationships, not necessarily ever breaching the physical barrier, with an assorted array of women (at work, social networks, gym, etc.). They have to have a harem to feel sexy and confident. [NB these effects can be present in homosexual relationships too, just switch around the genders as you need]. And to do this, they will weave a false version of reality around you; it is a dangerous web to be caught up in because it leave you with nothing and them with an ego boost.

The Cleaver Effect: the guy who aggressively comes across as an asshole, then supposedly does a 180 u turn in personality and demonstrates consistently, in the short term, the opposite traits but with enough of an edge to make it real. However, he maintains the behavior until the point where you forgive, forget and are charmed (ie can smile at him with genuine warmth and affection). Tada, that is when he turns around and becomes an asshole again. Except the second time around the level increased so that he is clocking in at level Dickhead. Named after Daniel Cleaver in BJD.

i have several more which I will write at a later date. Subsequently, we will discuss Handbags, Escorts, Duct Tape boys, and the dreaded FD and IIMTLITN (you will never guess this, but i know you have seen it). Let's go do our homework....