Polo Player, emphasis on Player
I have a third date with an International Polo Player. Emphasis on Player.
CV: 45, in the army, very much out of the pages of Country Life, studied Agriculture at Oxford (eons ago), flat in Fulham, drives a beat up landrover with a labrador in the front, upfront about being up for fun but unavailable for anything else, and loves fast things (is on the polo team (plays at Guards, just got back from Argentina), the ski team, races in points to points, etc). He has a string of polo ponies and I have no doubt that he has a string of women too. Or girls rather. He was shocked when he found out my age was 32, and not 27, which is where he placed me (nice compliment though). He usually only dates girls in their 20s because they don't find it a waste of time to have fun without a relationship, and "women in their 30s usually have baggage".
Yet he acts younger than 45. He has a charismatic charm assists his attractiveness rating but empirical looks he does not have. He has an amusing almost caricature like aura about him. He is also very much a Country man, out of touch with city life, fashion or culture. I had him take me to the Farm in Fulham, and he was gobsmacked and didn't know what a gastropub is. Because with his pedigree, it doesn't matter. Invites come despite ability to dress well or have seen the latest luvvie on the west end. It is funny to think that he is only 5 years older than my ex who lives here.
So he works quite fast (speed seems to be his theme song); I feel pressure already via his body language that he wants this body in a bed with him quite soon. He has already sent me one annoying text that said "I find you delightful, mmmmm". Icky. And an email that said "I hope you know I find you quite irresistible". Please settle down sir and stop trying overly hard (Freudian slip or pun?), to get into my knickers! You don't find me irresistible, because you hardly know me. You find the thought of sex with me irresistible. Perhaps it is the difference between the US dating and the UK absence of dating, which I still do not understand. Am I being cynical though? It is one thing to learn from your experiences, another for them to force you into a corner and wear a dress the colour of jaded, prune and prude. I want a man to want me physically and mentally, but maybe I get hung up on one whilst trying to figure out the other?
You know, if he would take some of my own advice, and play a little hard to get, I would find him exceedingly charming and more sexy, but once they try too hard, they travel down the slope of dirty old man, like it was a luge race.So my dilemma is this. The flirtility factor wavers around above average, but certainly not 120%. Where is the marginal utility of Mr. Polo? I am not worried about falling for him and getting hurt because I need a depth that he can't deliver. But can I still play in his league? I am unsure if this would be being true to who I am. Right now, I am erring on the red wine side of things. Which translates into drink a lot of it, and see where it leads you.
I do have a notion that he slots several women a year, has his one long standing woman in another part of the country whom I met when I met him, and probably keeps in touch with all of his string of girls (similar to maintaining a string of ponies). The antiqued English gentleman way of doing things, rather than the plough -through -you Nuevo Playboy. Worth it for the experience? I know his agenda; i think mine is to determine if he deserves me in his playground.
CV: 45, in the army, very much out of the pages of Country Life, studied Agriculture at Oxford (eons ago), flat in Fulham, drives a beat up landrover with a labrador in the front, upfront about being up for fun but unavailable for anything else, and loves fast things (is on the polo team (plays at Guards, just got back from Argentina), the ski team, races in points to points, etc). He has a string of polo ponies and I have no doubt that he has a string of women too. Or girls rather. He was shocked when he found out my age was 32, and not 27, which is where he placed me (nice compliment though). He usually only dates girls in their 20s because they don't find it a waste of time to have fun without a relationship, and "women in their 30s usually have baggage".
Yet he acts younger than 45. He has a charismatic charm assists his attractiveness rating but empirical looks he does not have. He has an amusing almost caricature like aura about him. He is also very much a Country man, out of touch with city life, fashion or culture. I had him take me to the Farm in Fulham, and he was gobsmacked and didn't know what a gastropub is. Because with his pedigree, it doesn't matter. Invites come despite ability to dress well or have seen the latest luvvie on the west end. It is funny to think that he is only 5 years older than my ex who lives here.
So he works quite fast (speed seems to be his theme song); I feel pressure already via his body language that he wants this body in a bed with him quite soon. He has already sent me one annoying text that said "I find you delightful, mmmmm". Icky. And an email that said "I hope you know I find you quite irresistible". Please settle down sir and stop trying overly hard (Freudian slip or pun?), to get into my knickers! You don't find me irresistible, because you hardly know me. You find the thought of sex with me irresistible. Perhaps it is the difference between the US dating and the UK absence of dating, which I still do not understand. Am I being cynical though? It is one thing to learn from your experiences, another for them to force you into a corner and wear a dress the colour of jaded, prune and prude. I want a man to want me physically and mentally, but maybe I get hung up on one whilst trying to figure out the other?
You know, if he would take some of my own advice, and play a little hard to get, I would find him exceedingly charming and more sexy, but once they try too hard, they travel down the slope of dirty old man, like it was a luge race.So my dilemma is this. The flirtility factor wavers around above average, but certainly not 120%. Where is the marginal utility of Mr. Polo? I am not worried about falling for him and getting hurt because I need a depth that he can't deliver. But can I still play in his league? I am unsure if this would be being true to who I am. Right now, I am erring on the red wine side of things. Which translates into drink a lot of it, and see where it leads you.
I do have a notion that he slots several women a year, has his one long standing woman in another part of the country whom I met when I met him, and probably keeps in touch with all of his string of girls (similar to maintaining a string of ponies). The antiqued English gentleman way of doing things, rather than the plough -through -you Nuevo Playboy. Worth it for the experience? I know his agenda; i think mine is to determine if he deserves me in his playground.
posted by miss goLondon at 5:53 PM
6 Comments:
Why should it be 'his playground'?
Why shouldn't it be YOUR playground?
"the difference between the US dating and the UK absence of dating" - What do you mean by this? I am just starting to meet and go out with men here, so would appreciate all advice you might have. Should I be aware of something? :)
D.
D, i think i need advice on this too! even after being here >2 years. i think there are myths, stereotypes, rules and many exceptions. like learning a new language, just when you think you get it, there is another case or conjugation to learn. lets see if i can rally the troops.
fb, you made such a salient comment, my thanks to you.
Dating is still a realtively new thing in the UK and whether or not the Brits want to admit it they're trying to copy the American example that they see on TV.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
FB: That's exactly what I've been noticing. All dates that I've been on since my arrival in London are very much the same that my dates in America were. This is why I earlier asked MGL what she meant by lack of dating in the UK. I didn't really understand what she was trying to say.
D.
Post a Comment
<< Home