planes, trains and pick up trucks
The journey back home from the US was a parabolic one taking me from the dissappointing ache of familial farewells to the tingly anticipation of being back home to flourish a rested face and renewed positive attitude.
Tuesday my parents drove me to the airport -dee eff dubbya ("dfw") in the afternoon. the terminal was quite empty as we drove up to the curb and parked just behind the only vehicle there, a large white stereotypical pick-up truck with a guy my age unloading the back and two women dilly dallying up front. I get some things out of the front of our truck whilst Dad unloads the mini santa sleighs (my luggage) from the back. I check out said guy who i notice is quite attractive, with his white University of Texas baseball cap and scruffy Texas prep look. Actually, he really resembles Matthew McConeaghy. Hmm. Look a little to the right, and notice a Spanish women who is pretty but not Penelepe; continuing to look in that direction and see that she is helping a woman out of the front of the truck and hm, yes that would be Penelope Cruz. Hiya Matt, now that the worlds hottest man, whose career I have followed since Dazed and Confused in the early 90s, is about 10 feet away from me. And then we check in to our BA flight together as well. Well, they area in the first class line, and i am the only person in the non first class line just next to them. And sods law, some gremlin took my BA Admirals Club card so I wasn't able to hang with my local celebs.
And yes he is very attractive in person. Penelope is very pretty but not unbelievably so. She is quite pale, and probably an inch shorter than me. And cheers to the stealth wealth style, they had nondescript bags and jeans and jumpers on. No bling for my homies.
At this point I thought the travel faeries were with me. But i never got a call or sms to go visit them in the admirals club. little did they know i could have given them the best advice as to where to hang in London, assuming they were staying in town and not jaunting off to the countryside with celeb friends.
Lo my luck kept turning. Boarding on the plane i was behind a group of very loud American adolescents. Within 5 seconds you knew they were from a local college "marching band" off to visit london and playing in the new years day parade. Some had never flown; most had never heard of England and did not know its relation to London.
The travel gremlins now conspired to seat me with the great unwashed in Steerage (Matt, Penelope, save me, please; now Penelope don't be jealous, you have nothing to worry about, really) squashed in between these kids. All of which were typical wal mart meet mcdonalds weight.
I was sat next to Napolean Dynamite plus 100 lbs. I am serious (do see this movie if you want to understand growing up in America); constant almost monotone dialogue the whole way from this massive four eyed trombone playing marching band geek. When he got out his sketch pad I almost asked him to draw a Liger (Lion - Tiger combo animal) . About useless trivia, or just anything would he pratter on about. I was one Bitter Beverly. I had one hope of pulling a gem from the coal mine that is this trip and that was the hottie. I pleaded with the faeries and gremlins to have us sit next to each other. We had been smiling sureptitiously at each other whilst boarding. But no. Two rows down and off the other aisle. I stalked him the whole time hoping to pounce during a loo break. the man must have the bladder of iron; or he went whilst i was sleeping. I then tried to find him at the baggage claim, but he had already gone. Future ex mr. go london, lost again. I was going to use the, excuse me but do you live in Fulham, you look really familiar line...
And despite Napolean D + 100, with 3 bottilos of vino and a sleeping pill, i did manage some sleep. However, it was quasi sleep owing to the very turbulent ride we had which caused me to whisper, please please god you can't let this plane go down, matt and penelope are on it. I couldn't tell whether i should be more scared because we all know that celebs die on planes more than drug overdoses, or that because they were there = i was safe. Appently the quid pro quo of not dying, was sitting amidst the Teenagers and missing out on pulling the hottie. Well, i am here to try another day! Bring in on London, and 2006.
Tuesday my parents drove me to the airport -dee eff dubbya ("dfw") in the afternoon. the terminal was quite empty as we drove up to the curb and parked just behind the only vehicle there, a large white stereotypical pick-up truck with a guy my age unloading the back and two women dilly dallying up front. I get some things out of the front of our truck whilst Dad unloads the mini santa sleighs (my luggage) from the back. I check out said guy who i notice is quite attractive, with his white University of Texas baseball cap and scruffy Texas prep look. Actually, he really resembles Matthew McConeaghy. Hmm. Look a little to the right, and notice a Spanish women who is pretty but not Penelepe; continuing to look in that direction and see that she is helping a woman out of the front of the truck and hm, yes that would be Penelope Cruz. Hiya Matt, now that the worlds hottest man, whose career I have followed since Dazed and Confused in the early 90s, is about 10 feet away from me. And then we check in to our BA flight together as well. Well, they area in the first class line, and i am the only person in the non first class line just next to them. And sods law, some gremlin took my BA Admirals Club card so I wasn't able to hang with my local celebs.
And yes he is very attractive in person. Penelope is very pretty but not unbelievably so. She is quite pale, and probably an inch shorter than me. And cheers to the stealth wealth style, they had nondescript bags and jeans and jumpers on. No bling for my homies.
At this point I thought the travel faeries were with me. But i never got a call or sms to go visit them in the admirals club. little did they know i could have given them the best advice as to where to hang in London, assuming they were staying in town and not jaunting off to the countryside with celeb friends.
Lo my luck kept turning. Boarding on the plane i was behind a group of very loud American adolescents. Within 5 seconds you knew they were from a local college "marching band" off to visit london and playing in the new years day parade. Some had never flown; most had never heard of England and did not know its relation to London.
The travel gremlins now conspired to seat me with the great unwashed in Steerage (Matt, Penelope, save me, please; now Penelope don't be jealous, you have nothing to worry about, really) squashed in between these kids. All of which were typical wal mart meet mcdonalds weight.
I was sat next to Napolean Dynamite plus 100 lbs. I am serious (do see this movie if you want to understand growing up in America); constant almost monotone dialogue the whole way from this massive four eyed trombone playing marching band geek. When he got out his sketch pad I almost asked him to draw a Liger (Lion - Tiger combo animal) . About useless trivia, or just anything would he pratter on about. I was one Bitter Beverly. I had one hope of pulling a gem from the coal mine that is this trip and that was the hottie. I pleaded with the faeries and gremlins to have us sit next to each other. We had been smiling sureptitiously at each other whilst boarding. But no. Two rows down and off the other aisle. I stalked him the whole time hoping to pounce during a loo break. the man must have the bladder of iron; or he went whilst i was sleeping. I then tried to find him at the baggage claim, but he had already gone. Future ex mr. go london, lost again. I was going to use the, excuse me but do you live in Fulham, you look really familiar line...
And despite Napolean D + 100, with 3 bottilos of vino and a sleeping pill, i did manage some sleep. However, it was quasi sleep owing to the very turbulent ride we had which caused me to whisper, please please god you can't let this plane go down, matt and penelope are on it. I couldn't tell whether i should be more scared because we all know that celebs die on planes more than drug overdoses, or that because they were there = i was safe. Appently the quid pro quo of not dying, was sitting amidst the Teenagers and missing out on pulling the hottie. Well, i am here to try another day! Bring in on London, and 2006.
posted by miss goLondon at 12:34 PM
2 Comments:
I saw Matt with Sandra Bullock about 4 years ago in Austin.... It was the highlight of my year. He is so very yummy....*sigh*
Oh yum. Matthew.
Welcome back to London. And the snow!
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