1 january 2006.

2006 seems to me like it is a blind date where you have a few expectations but a very positive attitude about your probability of having a great time.

I feel really optimistic and happy that January is here again. I don't feel old, or that I have insurmountable things to attain; i am not anxious or dreading my next birthday.

Last night i did nothing. I really had not planned to go out, but had a few plans if i really wanted to. However, due to borderline alcohol poisoning from the night before, i was in no shape to go out again. Which was fine by me.

so, in bed after watching a movie and three Sex and The City episodes, some writing in my journal about 2006 and how i feel, and i went to bed.

I begin this day, the first of 2006, in a happy, selfishly so, and serene place. I hope it is a state of being i visit often. I came across a photograph of a picture of me last autumn at a dear friend's wedding. In this picture, i looked very happy. I had a genuine smile on my face that seemed to be reflected in my whole body posture. However, i don't remember being as fulfilled or happy at that point in my life, as i am now. And i have had several friends comment to me that i seem down, that they are worried about me, and i am "pensive". Which is odd because i would have said that my spirits are high. Thus reaching out so that my glad, positive mood spreads to my face and body via smiles and overall body language, is what i will be concentrating on for the next month.