Because you can't always be nice
What is that noise? Thump, thump, thump…it's getting louder, thump, tha thump…meooooow, thump.. what the…is that what I think it…uh oh, the lock isn't strong enough. Shit she just burst through the door. There she goes, red hair in the wind…my inner bee-atch...
There is this lady in my gym who wears one of those c. 1982 thongs over her leggings at the gym. Always matching her sports bra. She should not be wearing such tight spandex in the first place. Why those things are legal, I don't know. No one needs a clear white line demarcating your buttocks miss marple!
To all those people on the tube that think they are too good to hold onto something when they stand, I will not be your support pole. Stop bumping into me. At some point my dirty looks will turn into a pinch. Who do you think you are? I carry germ-a-tiser in my handbag if it is for fear of touching something because of the bird flue pandemic.
You know what else annoys me? Fake nice. Don't do it. Don't pretend, just walk away. Don't be Passive aggressive. Just say what you mean. Get it out there. Its called efficient communication.
And male haircuts. Not synonymous with being groomed properly here in london. Your neck is not supposed to be a breeding ground. Look here Simon McCityPants, shave it – there is not supposed to be a little path between your head and your back. Doesn't anyone tell the males how to groom? You make how much money in your City bonuses, and you can't swing by a place once a month? We know the old guard don’t get it….you could put their nose hairs on a jumbo tron at Wembley and they wouldn't have a clue.
The slouchy boot is driving me crazy. It is gypsy meets Scarborough fair meets ugly ass. Cease and desist. Even kate moss can't do it.
If you are going to cat call me, mr. abdul walkin down the street, don't expect me or ask me to respond. It’s the quid pro quo. Don't treat me as if I am being rude by ignoring you. Are you being polite by roughly complimenting my ass? That isn't' polite mr! So, this is the deal. You want to open up your mouth and talk about someone that you don't know's anatomy, they aren't going to respond. If you want a response, go talk to your mom or girlfriend. I am going to start holding up a sign that says "yeah, I know, so go away".
My boss wears the same suit days in a row. Please don't. If it was Paris, it would be a Chanel suit. But it is feaux. Glaringly so. And to my office mate who runs in leg warmers and a skirt, over her leggings, girlfriend your ass and legs are big, and those inch thick layers don't act as a mirror. How do you reckon that helps? How come everyone I know training for marathons gains weight?
If I hold the door open for you, say thank you. But to all those forty McSomethings that glare at me when I have a seat on the tube, go fuck yourself, you can stand just as well as I can. Come back when you are in your sixty's.
And people, when someone isn't doing something by the UK Invisible Rules, just say something. Break Invisible Rule No. 49, thou shall not tell someone they are breaking the invisible rule, because then you are just as bad as they are; nb it is acceptable to make all sorts of faces and passive aggressively communicate that you think nothing is wrong. Just say something. You can do it politely. Try this: excuse me but the queue ends here, would you mind taking your place and not jumping?
Lastly, Muffin Effect. Girls, size your jeans accordingly. If your flubber is overflowing, you need a different size. And some exercise. And to lay off the crisps. Curves are good, just cover them don't stuff them.
There is this lady in my gym who wears one of those c. 1982 thongs over her leggings at the gym. Always matching her sports bra. She should not be wearing such tight spandex in the first place. Why those things are legal, I don't know. No one needs a clear white line demarcating your buttocks miss marple!
To all those people on the tube that think they are too good to hold onto something when they stand, I will not be your support pole. Stop bumping into me. At some point my dirty looks will turn into a pinch. Who do you think you are? I carry germ-a-tiser in my handbag if it is for fear of touching something because of the bird flue pandemic.
You know what else annoys me? Fake nice. Don't do it. Don't pretend, just walk away. Don't be Passive aggressive. Just say what you mean. Get it out there. Its called efficient communication.
And male haircuts. Not synonymous with being groomed properly here in london. Your neck is not supposed to be a breeding ground. Look here Simon McCityPants, shave it – there is not supposed to be a little path between your head and your back. Doesn't anyone tell the males how to groom? You make how much money in your City bonuses, and you can't swing by a place once a month? We know the old guard don’t get it….you could put their nose hairs on a jumbo tron at Wembley and they wouldn't have a clue.
The slouchy boot is driving me crazy. It is gypsy meets Scarborough fair meets ugly ass. Cease and desist. Even kate moss can't do it.
If you are going to cat call me, mr. abdul walkin down the street, don't expect me or ask me to respond. It’s the quid pro quo. Don't treat me as if I am being rude by ignoring you. Are you being polite by roughly complimenting my ass? That isn't' polite mr! So, this is the deal. You want to open up your mouth and talk about someone that you don't know's anatomy, they aren't going to respond. If you want a response, go talk to your mom or girlfriend. I am going to start holding up a sign that says "yeah, I know, so go away".
My boss wears the same suit days in a row. Please don't. If it was Paris, it would be a Chanel suit. But it is feaux. Glaringly so. And to my office mate who runs in leg warmers and a skirt, over her leggings, girlfriend your ass and legs are big, and those inch thick layers don't act as a mirror. How do you reckon that helps? How come everyone I know training for marathons gains weight?
If I hold the door open for you, say thank you. But to all those forty McSomethings that glare at me when I have a seat on the tube, go fuck yourself, you can stand just as well as I can. Come back when you are in your sixty's.
And people, when someone isn't doing something by the UK Invisible Rules, just say something. Break Invisible Rule No. 49, thou shall not tell someone they are breaking the invisible rule, because then you are just as bad as they are; nb it is acceptable to make all sorts of faces and passive aggressively communicate that you think nothing is wrong. Just say something. You can do it politely. Try this: excuse me but the queue ends here, would you mind taking your place and not jumping?
Lastly, Muffin Effect. Girls, size your jeans accordingly. If your flubber is overflowing, you need a different size. And some exercise. And to lay off the crisps. Curves are good, just cover them don't stuff them.
posted by miss goLondon at 11:55 AM
7 Comments:
Ahem.. People tend to gain weight when training for marathons because:
a) they are building lots of muscle which weights more than fat
b) particularly for long runs, you want to be sure that you have enough energy so carbs are eaten the night before and energy drinks are consumed. It is rare that people get the balance entirely right and usually over-estimate how many calories they need.
Both of these things mean that you really shouldn't use marathon training as a program to lose weight.
Please don't hit me. :)
no, no hitting here. when i was training for an olympic tri, i put on too much weight. but looking back i was eating too much sugar and not enough good carbs. i understand point a very well. but i that isn't what i mean. i mean they get fat, not gain healthy muscle weight. and your statement about over-estimate is exactly right. not just too many, but the wrong, sugar kind. see food nazi post earlier this month!
Thing is, bad carbs taste sooo much better than good carbs. :)
I didn't lose weight during my marathon training last year, but I ending up losing quite a bit over the summer when I'd tappered down my running. Why? Maybe all of that running changes your metabolism. I certainly didn't give up the bad carbs but I did ditch the energy drinks.
Have you ever seen 'The 25th Hour' with Ed Norton there's ascene there that your post made me think of immediately.
I'm with you on many of these things...I hate women who don't acknowledge that I've held the door open for them, no visual acknowledgement or verbal...I usually end up saying 'Thank you!' as they pass me.
But I don't want to start a post of vitriol with you but I do know where you're coming from...
I liked this one. Opinions are good!
Why should you cover your curves?
Pissed off much? Curves are one thing, fat rolls are another. Let's not get them confused.
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