Book of Life, Volume Thursday
Chapter One -the Morning
The frequency with which the crisis that the NHS consists of and the inability for the government to educate children efficiently dulls my morning. I refuse to turn on BBC, and instead listen to Radio 4 for a max of 30 minutes before switching to cd choice for the morning. Today, Badly Drawn Boy, yesterday, the Thrills. Yet when i start mentally complaining about the lack of variety in the news, i think but i am really happy it isn't a London or US based terrorist incident that is on the news.
I ordered my Americano for breakfast today, and i could not make the barissta understand that i wanted no milk in the americano, i was going to add milk at the office (non-sweetened soy milk, i am cutting out dairy and wheat for a while until i get bikini slim). milk? no, just room for milk? what kind of milk? no, just leave space in the cup, i will put the milk in. i get the cup of coffee, and an additional cup of milk. no, i don't need this, i am going to put milk in at my office. smile, tip the guy because it isn't his fault. and it is funny.
G (ex work crush) came by to tell me that he has done something silly. he forgot his shoes today (he cycles in). so he is wearing his office mate's extra pair,which are 3 sizes too big. he looks clownish. it is funny. this is not the first time he has done a space cadet drill. he has told me he has been doing this frequently. when he said this i said, well, maybe you have something on your mind that you are not grappling with effectively. he looked at me strange. i think he may fancy someone.
Chapter Two - guy update
I have not heard from the previous Friday night guy O (the Timberlake (nb i have decided that any younger than 29 guy i go out with will be monikered a Timberlake after Justin) with gorg. house in fulham) If this was the US, i would assume that means, there is someone else or not interested, but no, this is the UK, where, more true than not, the guys are insecure, shy and lazy. the percentage of each changes. A single girl cannot forget the truth, which is if the guys we wanted to get to know called us, and the ones we didn't like did not call us, we wouldn't be single. So, here comes the bread crumb effect, i am going to text to see if i get a response that will lead to meeting up again. I would rather know that he is not interested, than just know nothing. For instance, had not heard from Swiss Investment Banker and I knew that he had been back from holiday for awhile. So i texted him hello; he came back with text that asked me out for this weekend. My confusion is this: if one has the intent or the desire to meet up with someone, then why isn't my phone ringing? why do i have to be the one to, frankly, ask myself out on behalf of you. I feel like i am their dating PA.
End of the Men Chapter. Final Chapter - work.
If my life were divided up in pie shaped diagram, then i would divide it into thirds: family, work and relationship/social. I am immensely blessed that my family life is wonderful and there are no concerns or tensions. My social life is on auto-pilot and involves minimal tension or inattention. Actually, i have been busier than usual which means i do not have enough time to myself, to really exist in happy zone. With my move of flats impending, i am about to go to silent run mode and keep thing on the DL for awhile. I need some me time, which usually consists of good books, dvd, gym, cooking frenzies, silence but for music reflecting my mood. The last slice of this analogy is work. Here there be monsters. I walk up to that door, begin to open, and then shut it. so many questions, so many paths and answers. Do i like what i have? no. why not? because i am inherently a non-lazy type a personality that gets bored quickly. but, i have a cushy job that pays well and allows me to have a busy social life. um, what exactly more do i want? uhhhhh. i don't know. i have never been a person to define myself by my career. should i start? or, even if i do not pick that road, should i find a more challenging job that pays more? but is my quality of life and current amount of free time too valuable?
i continue to grapple. i foresee this as being my summer quandary.
The frequency with which the crisis that the NHS consists of and the inability for the government to educate children efficiently dulls my morning. I refuse to turn on BBC, and instead listen to Radio 4 for a max of 30 minutes before switching to cd choice for the morning. Today, Badly Drawn Boy, yesterday, the Thrills. Yet when i start mentally complaining about the lack of variety in the news, i think but i am really happy it isn't a London or US based terrorist incident that is on the news.
I ordered my Americano for breakfast today, and i could not make the barissta understand that i wanted no milk in the americano, i was going to add milk at the office (non-sweetened soy milk, i am cutting out dairy and wheat for a while until i get bikini slim). milk? no, just room for milk? what kind of milk? no, just leave space in the cup, i will put the milk in. i get the cup of coffee, and an additional cup of milk. no, i don't need this, i am going to put milk in at my office. smile, tip the guy because it isn't his fault. and it is funny.
G (ex work crush) came by to tell me that he has done something silly. he forgot his shoes today (he cycles in). so he is wearing his office mate's extra pair,which are 3 sizes too big. he looks clownish. it is funny. this is not the first time he has done a space cadet drill. he has told me he has been doing this frequently. when he said this i said, well, maybe you have something on your mind that you are not grappling with effectively. he looked at me strange. i think he may fancy someone.
Chapter Two - guy update
I have not heard from the previous Friday night guy O (the Timberlake (nb i have decided that any younger than 29 guy i go out with will be monikered a Timberlake after Justin) with gorg. house in fulham) If this was the US, i would assume that means, there is someone else or not interested, but no, this is the UK, where, more true than not, the guys are insecure, shy and lazy. the percentage of each changes. A single girl cannot forget the truth, which is if the guys we wanted to get to know called us, and the ones we didn't like did not call us, we wouldn't be single. So, here comes the bread crumb effect, i am going to text to see if i get a response that will lead to meeting up again. I would rather know that he is not interested, than just know nothing. For instance, had not heard from Swiss Investment Banker and I knew that he had been back from holiday for awhile. So i texted him hello; he came back with text that asked me out for this weekend. My confusion is this: if one has the intent or the desire to meet up with someone, then why isn't my phone ringing? why do i have to be the one to, frankly, ask myself out on behalf of you. I feel like i am their dating PA.
End of the Men Chapter. Final Chapter - work.
If my life were divided up in pie shaped diagram, then i would divide it into thirds: family, work and relationship/social. I am immensely blessed that my family life is wonderful and there are no concerns or tensions. My social life is on auto-pilot and involves minimal tension or inattention. Actually, i have been busier than usual which means i do not have enough time to myself, to really exist in happy zone. With my move of flats impending, i am about to go to silent run mode and keep thing on the DL for awhile. I need some me time, which usually consists of good books, dvd, gym, cooking frenzies, silence but for music reflecting my mood. The last slice of this analogy is work. Here there be monsters. I walk up to that door, begin to open, and then shut it. so many questions, so many paths and answers. Do i like what i have? no. why not? because i am inherently a non-lazy type a personality that gets bored quickly. but, i have a cushy job that pays well and allows me to have a busy social life. um, what exactly more do i want? uhhhhh. i don't know. i have never been a person to define myself by my career. should i start? or, even if i do not pick that road, should i find a more challenging job that pays more? but is my quality of life and current amount of free time too valuable?
i continue to grapple. i foresee this as being my summer quandary.
posted by miss goLondon at 10:27 AM
3 Comments:
I can only give my own perspective: I don't initiate this kind of contact because it feels... wrong, too presumptive.
I tend to assume she isn't interested, and gave me her phone number to get rid of me.
I know this doesn't make sense, but there it is.
So - never be afraid to send the first text!
Ah, the texting conundrum... remember my advice, because in a general sense it holds good. I'm a man, and I know these things :-)
Stop grappling for now and enjoy the weekend, Holly.
O.N.E.: wrong, assume, presumptive..these are all synonyms for you being lazy and insecure dude.
Neil - you can't imagine how painful moving is in this country. at least we don't have furniture.
wdky - i know, i know, but you are experienced and confident; O is a 25 yr old underconfident still at Oxford baby...don't you think he might be a bit intimidated by me, posh life or no? at least i have the confidence not to care if he is not interested. muddle, muddle
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