House Rules for Residents of ~~~ Ca&&&wn Road
as of monday, my flatmate and i live somewhere else. She owns, i rent from her. and touch wood our relationship will stay as positive and special as it has been. She received a document via email, and this document contained the Rules For Residents. I have provided my amended version below. Apparently, we reside amongst Directors. and they have rule that are their duty to enforce.
The following house rules have been agreed by the ground floor flat of ~~~ Ca&&&wn Road Limited, and apply to any residents of ~~~ Ca&&&wn Road and any guests that they sponsor:
Noise Nuisance:
If you are going to make a noise, it better be because you are having a party, with a dj, free drinks, and a hot guy to girl ratio of 10:1. No other noise allowed.
Domestic Refuse:
We wish that the council removed all chavs stuffed in black bin liners, but it doesn't happen. Instead, no chav-ey refuse allowed as guests or in the common areas. Please try not to have your garbage out for several days, but we know people have to go on holiday, or get really busy.
Recycled Refuse:
We don't do sloppy seconds. Unless they are celebrity hot. Or celebrity mingers.
Communal Areas:
No storage of personal items can be made in the communal passages unless we can borrow it.
Residents are expected to pick up and sort the post if it is lying around whenever they have the chance. But we know that you might be in a hurry to go get ready for your date or a big party and that is more important.
The front door must not be slammed, unless you are mad at someone. All residents must pull the door shut quietly by hand to reduce noise.
General:
If any issues arise that cannot be resolved between parties residing at ~~~ Ca&&&wn Road, these will be referred to the ….what the heck? Who has time for this crap?...
The Directors will direct their own darn lives and mind there own business. If they want to arbitrate and decide what the appropriate, go have kids and move away.
PS
Please do not store dates' dogs in your rooms. Any stalkers will not be allowed. And no wanking in the common areas. Always leave ~~~ Ca&&&wn with a coat of lipstick and some mascara, and your keys.
The following house rules have been agreed by the ground floor flat of ~~~ Ca&&&wn Road Limited, and apply to any residents of ~~~ Ca&&&wn Road and any guests that they sponsor:
Noise Nuisance:
If you are going to make a noise, it better be because you are having a party, with a dj, free drinks, and a hot guy to girl ratio of 10:1. No other noise allowed.
Domestic Refuse:
We wish that the council removed all chavs stuffed in black bin liners, but it doesn't happen. Instead, no chav-ey refuse allowed as guests or in the common areas. Please try not to have your garbage out for several days, but we know people have to go on holiday, or get really busy.
Recycled Refuse:
We don't do sloppy seconds. Unless they are celebrity hot. Or celebrity mingers.
Communal Areas:
No storage of personal items can be made in the communal passages unless we can borrow it.
Residents are expected to pick up and sort the post if it is lying around whenever they have the chance. But we know that you might be in a hurry to go get ready for your date or a big party and that is more important.
The front door must not be slammed, unless you are mad at someone. All residents must pull the door shut quietly by hand to reduce noise.
General:
If any issues arise that cannot be resolved between parties residing at ~~~ Ca&&&wn Road, these will be referred to the ….what the heck? Who has time for this crap?...
The Directors will direct their own darn lives and mind there own business. If they want to arbitrate and decide what the appropriate, go have kids and move away.
PS
Please do not store dates' dogs in your rooms. Any stalkers will not be allowed. And no wanking in the common areas. Always leave ~~~ Ca&&&wn with a coat of lipstick and some mascara, and your keys.
posted by miss goLondon at 3:08 PM
6 Comments:
Sounds like a nice place;-)
Brilliant! Any vacant apartments?
If only I could find a place like this in Dallas.....
Oh... And BTW... Is it OK if I link to you?
hee hee! place is a messy chaotic den of iniquity, but it will work ou well. i do have broken shades that do not cover all the windows, so at some point neighbors get a peep show. and it gets dark at 9:30, so very annoying. the original rules we received, before i doctored them, were so uptight!
Everything is rubbish before midday, except on Bank Holidays. Preference will given to residents who are a bit council. Irony Mon-Thu.
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