Street Fighting.
Well, we had our back to school kung fu reunion party last night. Loads of wine and fun and laughter. Loads of moments where we thought, hmm, should maybe not have said that. But, that is what british bonding is about. Some wine, some food, some drinking games (mafia anyone?), and some other elicit activities.
I continue to fight my own battle, that of not being attracted to my instructor [WCI, aka Neo]. It is hard, as he is gorgeous. But even more so because he has a lovely soul. He is a good guy. But, as of this moment it is not going to be. Although, I can now believe it myself when I say I think he fancies me. One, he sat by me loads. Two, he flirted loads. Three, he asked me what I looked for in men. Four, when we were talking about these silly playboy cards, and he said, well, I like the one with the girl in heels, and then he looks at me and says, I have seen you in heels. [Well, well, he remembers.]
If I score myself in terms of things that I wish I had not have said, I can say I wish I had not whinged about Americans, City blokes, told them the story of me pulling a shotgun on someone, blabbing in general about why I am single (after being asked the annoying question, but my head was too fuzzy to respond with brevity).
WCI and I had this conversation where he was asking about me dating. He said, wow, so you go on proper dates. And I say yes, here and there. And he says oh I have not done that in a while,and I start laughing and say well Neo, who's fault is that? All you have to do is ask someone, and there you go. After all I am not asking these guys out. Then he asked me what I looked for in guys, said he bet I was quite finicky. Analysis?
It turns out he is single!! My friends and I had been betting on this. I said yes single, other girls kindly said if he was you would have pulled him by now. Also, I think that was about keeping my expectations low. Ummm, yeah right. Anyhew, apparently, the last break up did not go well and she was really mean and lashed out. This upset him and he said he has felt a bit shy about starting to look again. Interesting because he is saying that he is afraid of hurting someone again. But if I were to go pop therapist on him, I would say he has lost faith in himself relating to his judgement and that is putting him off.
Interestingly, the very cool chick who takes privately from WCI, and is married with kids, is not happily married. I think interesting because on the surface she has it all, and has it all together. It demonstrates how easily we make assumptions of well being and happiness from material things. It also reaffirms my stereotype of City blokes being general jerks. Selfish, lazy and egotalitarian.
On the negative side, WCI saw me inebriated, the host flirted with me voraciously to the annoyance of his lovely girlfriend. I can tell that my cool NBF likes WCI. And I think I wound up the co-instructor about having a girlfriend ish person for a period of 8 years, probably to his annoyance. I think I said something like, what is the point of that? That was probably the tip of the iceberg, knowing my memory.
I do know that WCI and co instructor drove a group of us home. I was praying that I was last in the car. So that I could try to pull WCI. I think the law of unanswered prayers worked in my favour though. I did not wake up with him next to me, in awkward silence. I was second to last.
I continue to fight my own battle, that of not being attracted to my instructor [WCI, aka Neo]. It is hard, as he is gorgeous. But even more so because he has a lovely soul. He is a good guy. But, as of this moment it is not going to be. Although, I can now believe it myself when I say I think he fancies me. One, he sat by me loads. Two, he flirted loads. Three, he asked me what I looked for in men. Four, when we were talking about these silly playboy cards, and he said, well, I like the one with the girl in heels, and then he looks at me and says, I have seen you in heels. [Well, well, he remembers.]
If I score myself in terms of things that I wish I had not have said, I can say I wish I had not whinged about Americans, City blokes, told them the story of me pulling a shotgun on someone, blabbing in general about why I am single (after being asked the annoying question, but my head was too fuzzy to respond with brevity).
WCI and I had this conversation where he was asking about me dating. He said, wow, so you go on proper dates. And I say yes, here and there. And he says oh I have not done that in a while,and I start laughing and say well Neo, who's fault is that? All you have to do is ask someone, and there you go. After all I am not asking these guys out. Then he asked me what I looked for in guys, said he bet I was quite finicky. Analysis?
It turns out he is single!! My friends and I had been betting on this. I said yes single, other girls kindly said if he was you would have pulled him by now. Also, I think that was about keeping my expectations low. Ummm, yeah right. Anyhew, apparently, the last break up did not go well and she was really mean and lashed out. This upset him and he said he has felt a bit shy about starting to look again. Interesting because he is saying that he is afraid of hurting someone again. But if I were to go pop therapist on him, I would say he has lost faith in himself relating to his judgement and that is putting him off.
Interestingly, the very cool chick who takes privately from WCI, and is married with kids, is not happily married. I think interesting because on the surface she has it all, and has it all together. It demonstrates how easily we make assumptions of well being and happiness from material things. It also reaffirms my stereotype of City blokes being general jerks. Selfish, lazy and egotalitarian.
On the negative side, WCI saw me inebriated, the host flirted with me voraciously to the annoyance of his lovely girlfriend. I can tell that my cool NBF likes WCI. And I think I wound up the co-instructor about having a girlfriend ish person for a period of 8 years, probably to his annoyance. I think I said something like, what is the point of that? That was probably the tip of the iceberg, knowing my memory.
I do know that WCI and co instructor drove a group of us home. I was praying that I was last in the car. So that I could try to pull WCI. I think the law of unanswered prayers worked in my favour though. I did not wake up with him next to me, in awkward silence. I was second to last.
posted by miss goLondon at 3:49 PM
4 Comments:
That anlysis is a girl, thing, you know. Us lot just have a drink and go for it. Probably why we screw up so often.
So I'm a girl too then hence my failure with women.
I'm surprised you don't take the bull by its horns.
What happened to Bob the Builder? Austin Powers?
What I mean i over think and analyze things too much maybe I need lessons from wdky.
I think (being serious, fb) that its sometimes to think less and feel more.
If that makes sense.
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