discombobulation
my brain waves are as discombobled as my posts lately.
I have to tell myself to stop thinking so much that it is an anti-mantra.
new job prospects are not zooming at me, forcing me to challenge my assumption that i am a positive person. I will remain positive about finding a change that results in a better job for me. It is hard to maintain a positive, upbeat lens on which to view things when the process exposes yourself to your weaknesses. I hate feeling weak. crying is something that i have been ashamed of.
my flat is again in a state of wreck because our bathroom is being redone and my flatmate doesn't know a thing about being a general contractor. they are walking over her and hence me by proxy. i would like ask her for a reduction in rent. i am hesitant because if she says no i can't it puts us in a quandry, full of tension. this redo was supposed to happen whilst i was gone on holiday. now, it is her that is gone. and for over a week no hot water, no shower, and for about a week we had no washing up place. i try to realign myself by stressing, again to myself, that more people in this world than do, lack running water and private loos. so there spoiled miss gl.
speaking of, going to the doctor today i sat next to a refugee on her way to the brilliant and efficient home office (cough cough). she asked me, london bridge (stilted but coherent
syllables with an increasing tone)(nod head, nod head), translated into does this bus go to london bridge, and i nodded back and said yes. her paper had the word somalia on it, and so that is where she is a refugee from. i cannot ever, ever, imagine what her life experiences up to now will be; and wonder how much better they will be here, living in a little somalia commune, probably with no rights, squashed with others, laden with a man to impregnate her asap so she cant go anywhere.
i had a random and self started conversation with a guy at starbucks the other day. we were both working on our laptops. he was a 50 something journalist, american, who covered military actions. also known as, spy. well, maybe not but i like to be a romantic.
some girls are coming over on saturday night to celebrate my birthday. i felt phat and fab when i ordered 6 bottles of champagne, and ice, to be delivered to my flat. the theme is decadence, so we are having pizza and cake too. even cooler, i have paper plates with unicorns on them. rock.
i think writing this post helped manage my stress. i feel better. the tension in my cheeks has diminished (this is a stress sign for me), and i feel more positive about the conference of annoynaces that have made me their venue of the week.
I have to tell myself to stop thinking so much that it is an anti-mantra.
new job prospects are not zooming at me, forcing me to challenge my assumption that i am a positive person. I will remain positive about finding a change that results in a better job for me. It is hard to maintain a positive, upbeat lens on which to view things when the process exposes yourself to your weaknesses. I hate feeling weak. crying is something that i have been ashamed of.
my flat is again in a state of wreck because our bathroom is being redone and my flatmate doesn't know a thing about being a general contractor. they are walking over her and hence me by proxy. i would like ask her for a reduction in rent. i am hesitant because if she says no i can't it puts us in a quandry, full of tension. this redo was supposed to happen whilst i was gone on holiday. now, it is her that is gone. and for over a week no hot water, no shower, and for about a week we had no washing up place. i try to realign myself by stressing, again to myself, that more people in this world than do, lack running water and private loos. so there spoiled miss gl.
speaking of, going to the doctor today i sat next to a refugee on her way to the brilliant and efficient home office (cough cough). she asked me, london bridge (stilted but coherent
syllables with an increasing tone)(nod head, nod head), translated into does this bus go to london bridge, and i nodded back and said yes. her paper had the word somalia on it, and so that is where she is a refugee from. i cannot ever, ever, imagine what her life experiences up to now will be; and wonder how much better they will be here, living in a little somalia commune, probably with no rights, squashed with others, laden with a man to impregnate her asap so she cant go anywhere.
i had a random and self started conversation with a guy at starbucks the other day. we were both working on our laptops. he was a 50 something journalist, american, who covered military actions. also known as, spy. well, maybe not but i like to be a romantic.
some girls are coming over on saturday night to celebrate my birthday. i felt phat and fab when i ordered 6 bottles of champagne, and ice, to be delivered to my flat. the theme is decadence, so we are having pizza and cake too. even cooler, i have paper plates with unicorns on them. rock.
i think writing this post helped manage my stress. i feel better. the tension in my cheeks has diminished (this is a stress sign for me), and i feel more positive about the conference of annoynaces that have made me their venue of the week.
posted by miss goLondon at 3:38 PM
2 Comments:
Happy birthday for today, hope the champagne and cake went down well, any details?
cake was fab. two layers of chocolate, cream cheese with vanilla bean frosting in between the layers, and choc fudge on the sides. threw in some coconut and pecans between the layers too. now i have to have the will power to throw the remainder away!
mood got better as weekend went on, even though fate was against me working my issues out in a healthy, sexual way with Builder Bob. darn it!!!
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