miss independent

I am going to America on Friday for a bit over a week, to see best mate, family (see pic of our farm) and a wedding.
However, I am morally offput by entering into my home country due to the news that Scrushy the psychotic corporate leader was acquitted of every single charge. In addition, W's speech at Fort Bragg immensely depressed me due to its illogical rhetoric, implied idiocy of the American Public and ubiquitous references to this the Black and White Fantasy World that he lives in. Someone introduce the colour grey to that man, please. I was glad to see some comments on the BBC's Have Your Say and other blogs see through his blatant emotional warfare and that public opinion polls show low approval ratings for him and his administration. The latter of which is really the demon ghost in the machine.

July Fourth may be quite a maudlin and reflective day for me. I foresee much imbibing. Updates to follow.

ups, downs, ins, outs

• OUT
  pop stars (the term used loosly) everywhere, proffering their views on what the powerful G8 nations should do to tackle poverty and pestilence in Africa see http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4629851.stm
• 
  attending overcrowded, hot, smelly, live outdoor concerts blasting semi-listenable music because they feel it is the thing to do
• IN
  Reading a book on the political and social history of at least a region of Africa written pre-2005 and donating to a charity through www.justgiving.co.uk which relates to Aids or Starvation
• Organising a barBQ for your mates and any of their friends, asking for a contribution to charity (not just the liquor fund!), playing music that you like over speakers you can hear with a toilet that works, and call it LiveEating

Shields and shells

I have days when I am very sensitive to the news in a way that I physically feel every item of negativity and hate. I will feel physically ill and ache, especially in my throat and heart chakra areas. I have not recognized a pattern to the sensitivity. But I have been aware of fugues like this that occur to me for several years now. Really, I do not understand why they occur more frequently, considering the world we live in. During these, I fight to try to look at things positively and without judgment, not only is this extremely difficult, but it leaves a sense of mental oppression. Reading the Times, the Economist, the FT,even the Metro, especially when the outlook for the European economy is suddenly gloomy creates an intense awareness of all the evil, negativity, hate and ugliness in the world. How do we even shield it away every day? There could be two ways to look at it. Either there is the Normal, and on some days the force of it all becomes hyper clear, as if someone gave you alternate spectacles; or that we have shields that work Most Days, and then sometimes, as opposed to placing a new lens on, the shield falls away and you glimpse what the World is Really Like outside of your shield. Not only do I then question the sanity of my shield but the concept of luck, or blessedness, that I have one that is very strong when many others do not.

Passport Control v. Diplomatic Immunity

My fellow Americans,
I have a request.
Shut up.
Please. Just close your loud mouths, and no don't fill it up with London Pizza Hut or Burger King, you get enough of that foul stuff at home.
It is tourist time in London again, which means that the normal bizarre mix of London commuters have to share transport, and leisure venues, with American tourists. Luckily the dollar is so strong that I rarely come into contact with them because the places I frequent would not be on the majority's radar. However, sidewalk, bus, tube, you name it: the Americans have invaded. Which means the decibel level has cubed.

Here is my subjective, unsubstantiated opinion on why Americans are not only loud but insist on broadcasting their [subjective, unsubstantiated] opinion wherever they are by virtue of their constantly flapping mouths. Americans are not educated about other cultures or countries except as related to the US. They are taught that their culture is the gold standard, no other country could have another opinion, and due to the eternal subcurrents of the Monroe Doctrine, this standard and the culture it projects should be projected onto others too. And the oral tradition is the easiest and cheapest way to do so. They are not interested in intaking other cultures, what others have to say on topics. They are, generally, only interested in proselytizing about their own romantic ideals of America.

To scale back the vitriol a bit, yes not every American is like that. I am not. Some of my friends are not. And some of theirs as well. And maybe i have my own issues dealing with my citizenship which colour my frustrations more intensely.

But I implore Ye Olde American Touriste to sush, zip it dot com and listen to what Europeans say, what their opinions on world topics are, ask them and listen rather than tell them how it is.
And please don't act amazed when a Brit speaks precise English. London is in England, it is their language first.

Dictionary Entry

Horizon Effect n the state of being in a single person's life when they are in some type of contact with at least one person (of the sex that they are interested) in to the extent that there is frequent flirtation activity (evidenced by commounication such as text, email, call) during the week yet the calendar shows no dates or specific times with which to meet in person with one of these persons to further a relationship by getting to know him or her better. Also known as promises of the probability of dates but nothing in the diary for the next two weeks. Syn: frustration. .

Daily candy - not sure it is on my diet??

I just found out that www.dailycandy.com has a London edition. The concept of the site is v. keen. My gripe with sites like that is that the threshold for getting mentioned is arbitrary and not consistent with its bestowment of fabulousness. In otherwords, you can't trust it. Judgment is out on whether it will be a method to explore London to tap into. Or just another "try at your peril" email. For example, on the Dallas one, they spotlighted a made-in-Dallas ground floor winery that kind of acts like Vom Fass (the place where you can buy a bottle and fill it up with various oils, liquors and vinegars). But this is wine. Which is from grapes, farmed by people, using varieties and methods that have been honed over thousands of years. Yes, I just got back from the Rhone Valley, but the lack of respect I infer from that Dallas-based concept, and its ridiculousness, knows no bounds. thump, thump, she steps of box of soap.

And then the day changed

Well I wasn't having a particularly good day when two events changed all that. One, I had a fit guy chat me up at the gym. Actually, he gave me a one on one spin lesson. I was in the spin room and he came in because he had a class in 3/4 of an hour. He started chatting to me, I asked him about his class, and he gave me an "example". It kicked my ass! A good thing. Then he started chatting to me about, well, things. Living, working in London, where I am from, etc. In other words, the things you talk about on dates. We chatted for a good while, smiling and joking. Yes, the flirt. Now this guy is English. In my experience, they are reserved and expect us to do the aggresive foundation work. I won't assume he is interested in me (newly single me) but I think there is a chance. Anyway, it was unexpected fun.
Two, went to dinner with Reena at a place I pulled out of a hat, and it was a stunning experience. I plan on going back many times and I have never said that about an eatery in London. I will have a review on it at www.hollygolondon.com, but for now, Run, Don't Skip, to Food@theMuse in notting hill.

Reena and I had a lovely time getting to know each other better. We had not seen each other in 3 weeks, and when we went to the Rhone Valley, it was the first time we met. It was so nice to go to dinner and drinks with a smart, sweet, funny, well rounded woman without some agenda, alpha complex or inner jealous bitch. Instead, conversation flowed and was diverse and interesting. Layered on top of the great company was the perfect surroundings. Food had a clean, unpretentious, modern simple, relaxed atmosphere. The food was beyond tasty, stunningly created and presented. Even the Welsh Fizzy Water was better than the italian, tritely served everywhere. The owner chatted us up the whole time, and was genuinely happy, outgoing, and proud of his place. If NH has more places like Food, I would consider moving there. My gripe with the neighborhood is that is is more akin to the West Village than London. And most inhabitants are US expats thanks to US culture references being more about Hollywood movies than history books.

I don't want to end on a negative note though. In the end I was pleased by the life musing that if we slug through mopey, bluesy days and look for a positive glint, something will shine through unexpectedly and more dear for its suprise.

bad mood mollies

I was really looking forward to my weekend as of yesterday but today I feel nothing but laconic and morose. In analysing this change of tide, I think the catalyst was finding out that I am stuck with a huge mobile bill because my phone was stolen and I didn't call the company quickly enough to cancel it. This owing to the fact that I had a stupid hope I would find it and I was very hungover and could not think properly for the subsequent 24 hours. The huge bill is my fault and I am going to have to carry the burden onto my savings account, but these moments still aggravate me to the extent the affect my complete mood. Argh! I keep chanting the mantra, "why do we fall down? so that we can better learn to get back up" (Batman Begins). But having events that suck the money out of you and slap you on your ass, hard, is a mistake that stings for awhile. I will soldier on and now struggle to talk myself back into my optomistic and lighthearted mood of Friday. The reasons for the latter mood are still in existence, and I must give them attention and energy so that they are not overshadowed by the Dark Side.

when Dior and Pollack have a martini

Unfortunate. Christian Dior and I had a falling out. well, not exactly him. Apparently the self tanning creme is not holly friendly in that it calls for perfect skin and a pack of petite tan technicians to apply appropriately. so instead of being able to wear cute skirts for the muggy suffocating weather we are having in london currently, i have to cover the calves in, at a minimum, capris. well, time heals all. I suppose having several glasses of wine first didn't assist my application skills, but as the product is french, it should be understood. of course if we had proper sun on weekends, we wouldn't need the feaux in the first place! where is this sun they speak of....

Team Holly

I miss Team Holly. Before I moved here I had a virtual pit crew of assistants that I paid to constantly create me, as i envisioned in the moment. I did feel like a pretty, feminine well tuned F1 car. That was in another city, when I had more funds and more time. London eats both like they were Haribo. I was at a girls' weekend trip in the Rhone Valley and we were talking about therapy. I laughed and said I actually had more than one therapist. I went on to describe Team Holly, which is a "group of people that I had appointments with every month but sometimes as frequently as weekly (e.g. therapy after the Aussie/American breakup). Consisting of wax, reiki, spiritual massage, and mental therapist, manicurist, hair stylist and astrologer. I suppose I saw all these people quite often because I had a lack of social life, all friends at once doing a Smugmarried –lemmings impersonation. But one never knows when it might start up again. Thus be prepared by having no body hair, glistening locks, pretty toes and a strong, confident will. If only to do so did not cost the same as the upkeep of a small South American country's army.